Archive for Becoming Me

Lessons Learned as a Family

So, we adopted.  Without doing ANY research.    No hours logged on-line, digging for answers and information.  Nope.  Just fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants adoption.

We adopted a yellow bellied slider TURTLE.

We were told turtles are the easiest pet to care for.  We were told that her tank was the right size, the lighting was what she required, and the Walmart brand of turtle pellets provided all the nutrition she required.  And we believed what we were told without finding out for ourselves .  Hmmm, that’s a little scary…

Banana has been a member of our family for almost 5 weeks and it wasn’t until after we moved her tank from her home next door and set her up on top of my son’s dresser that I started to examine her living conditions.  Her shell size falls somewhere between a saucer and a dinner plate.  And her tank is 30″ x 12″ x 12″.  Her lighting is a basic aquarium light.  She didn’t look healthy.  So I started my research …

Banana's Back

Banana

I discovered that Banana belongs in a pond.  She should have access to water and an area that is out of the water with a temperature somewhere around 79°.  Her diet should include meal worms, dark lettuce, strawberries.  And of all the turtle pellets out there, the Walmart brand offers NO NUTRITIONAL VALUE to a turtle.  In all actuality, turtles should NEVER be sold as pets.  We don’t know enough about them and it is a crime that pet stores are allowed to sell these critters who don’t belong in a tank.  Basically, we adopted an abused creature and my heart broke into a million pieces that night.

 

Sweet Face

Sweet Face

 

I can really be an instant gratification kind of gal.  I wanted to fix the situation the moment I discovered all of this information.  It was almost midnight, my husband was at the hospital for the night, and I was participating in the slow demise of our stunning adoptee.  I cried.  I paged my husband.  And I handed the next step to him.

Chad got to work and found a tutle rescue outfit.  Turtle Homes matches turtles with an approved adopter — usually a herpetologist or scientist, or someone living in Florida who has undergone investigation and has a pond appropriate for these creatures. 

Our dinner conversation with our two older children was hard and heartbreaking.  Banana was our first pet and she had only been with us for a little over a week.  We all cried.  But they recognized that Banana needed to come to us in order to find a home appropriate for her.  It was a wonderful opportunity to foster lesson-learning as a family, filled with tears and reflection and discussion.  An important journey of growth that we, as a family, got to walk together.

Banana

Banana

 

 

We packed Banana up today and shipped her to Florida.  She will be missed.  But we know that we made the right decision and that we learned valuable lessons together.  

 

 

Godspeed, Banana. 

Adios, Good Friend

Adios, Good Friend

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Blessed

Yellow Rose
Today marks the 2 year anniversary of our appointment with Dr. George P. Henry at the Reproductive Genetics Center in Denver.  It was there — after 4½ days of not knowing how healthy of sick our third child would be — that we found out our Beanie was healthy.  Beanie was our final pregnancy and perhaps because we were briefly  thrust into that chasm that is scary and devastating, I am moved to check in with other families whose outcome has been different than ours.  There are several blogs I check in on, and they are listed to the right of this post, under “Blogs I Read”.  Take a moment to read their stories and do whatever it is you do — say a prayer, send out positive energy, meditate, empathize, send your love to someone you’ve never met – for we are better off for all those we let in to our hearts, minds, thoughts, and lives.

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Big Week

 
Beanie's Luminaries
Beanie’s Luminaries

So we had a pretty amazing week last week.  And I’m now coming down from my super-high to highlight our Stand Up Straight, Grand Junction event last Wednesday. 

Suffice it to say that I was proud to talk with our group of 30 people and recognize that we are participating in the movement toward chage.  And there are families and individuals in my community who will help me bring that change to Grand Junction.  I was proud to walk with my neighbors.  I am proud to call them my friends.  I am honored to join them in our battle for true equality. 

Yes, we were small-ish this year.  Check back next year for bigger and better and brilliant!

Part of The Group

Part of The Group

  

Peaceful Walk

Peaceful Walk

 

Friends

Friends

Main Street

Main Street

 

Marching For Equality
Marching For Equality

         

 
Standing Up!

Standing Up!

 
Reading Nana's Words

Reading Nana's Words

 

Our Circle of Support
Our Circle of Support

 

And in case you didn’t have a chance to read my statement that is visible on the national Seven Straight Nights For Equal Rights website, check it out here (by either clicking on the highlighted ”the national Seven Straight Nights For Equal Rights website” or the highlighted word “here”, Mom!)  There’s also a post below that I wrote.  Read it here.

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Standing Up Straight in Grand Junction

Most of you know that I am a staunch supporter of equal rights for our gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender neighbors.  And if you didn’t know before, you do now.

I am a member of Atticus Circle, Soulforce, and the Human Rights Campaign.  These are organizations in which I believe with the whole of my being.  It is through Atticus Circle and Soulforce that I have planned a peaceful demonstration in Grand Junction

The statement I submitted to Seven Straight Nights for Equal Rights is worth repeating here.  Please read it and consider the difference you’d like to make … 

My three children bring me clarity like no other force can.  It is through their eyes that I choose to see the world.  I imagine I feel like most mothers feel — that our love is powerful, protective, and ever-present.  I am confident that my children will forever know this in my love for them, but not all children are as fortunate. I am lucky in that my desire to be a mother has never been threatened or questioned or denied me.  But again, not all women are given the same opportunities extended to me. 

 

The United States of America prides itself on being a “free nation.”  Our nation’s Declaration of Independence clearly states: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.”  We have fought other civil rights wars.  I was not alive to participate in those battles, but I am present now and I stand to be counted.  This is my civil rights war because I am not faced with hatred, discrimination, and inequalities every day, but it is my responsibility as a mother and a member of my community to stand up and demand that the same rights extended to me must be extended to the thousands of GLBT children, teens, and adults facing discrimination every day.  It is my duty not only to speak of acceptance, love, equality, and support for our GLBT neighbors, but to work to achieve change in our own community.  My hope is that by being a straight ally in our community, my children will participate in a shift in our culture — a shift towards acceptance, love, support, and equality — and live the days following that shift.

 

 

It is because I have only a brief amount of time to impart my values upon my three impressionable minds that I have decided to coordinate Grand Junction’s Action.  Every person deserves to experience the power of loving as a parent.  Every loving couple deserves the opportunity to create their family.  Every committed couple deserves to have their commitment recognized by society and our government.  Every person deserves to live a life of peace and happiness.

 

Stand with me, Grand Junction!

This won’t be the last time I bring this up, friends.  This is important shit.  No kidding. 
Stand up.  Embrace your neighbors.  Write your representatives.  Live with love and acceptance. 
Be the change.

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Lookin’ Good

Ask me. 
Go ahead, ask me.  Ask me how my “motivated-to-be-in-shape-by-the-time-I’m-thirty” process is going.

It’s going this good:

Attempt 1

Attempt 1

Something was missing. 
Gettin' It Right

Gettin' It Right

No, I did not eat the first bowl and help myself to the second, MOM!!  I simply spiced up the original attempt …

Oh.  And ask me how getting back into the swing of things with Chad on inpatient medicine for the month  is going.  Go ahead.  Ask.

This was my lunch today. 

Don't knock it 'til you've tried it!

Don't knock it 'til you've tried it!!

Any more questions?!!

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Dates and Commitment

College.  Dating.  Find “The One”.  Fall In Love.  Graduation.  Career?  Engagement.  Move In Together?  Marriage.  Newlyweds.  Graduate School?  Dog.  Mortgage.  Child #1. … Child #2. …                
                 
Is this how I envisioned my life plan??

Instead, our list looks a little something like this:
College.  DATE (singular).  Friends.  Friends … with benefits?  Child #1.  TravelLodge.  Graduation.  Teaching5thgradeforayearwithnotraining/Pre-requisitesformedicalschool.  Fall In Love.  Engagement.  Wedding #1.  Child #2.  Wedding #2.  Medical School.  Child #3.  Mortgage.  Residency.       

I met Chad on August 26th, 1998.  I was 19.  We got married (the first time) on July 12th, 2002.  I know it’s the date that technically “counts” (read: legal contract signed … in Vegas, of all places.  Yeah, baby!!) because that’s when all was official, but my commitment to Chad was made long before that particular date.  Our second wedding – where we had the ceremony, guests, and celebration I would associate with typical wedding festivities – was August 3rd, 2003.  And those are the images I conjure when recalling our “weddding ceremony”.  The anniversary of finding out we were having The Boy is incredibly significant — 4/4 at 4pm.  Our future together techinically began that moment, whether or not we knew exactly what that future looked like doesn’t matter.  I became the mother of Chad’s first-born child, and he became the father of my first-born child.  Our lives would forever be intertwined.  But I fumble for what is considered a wedding anniversary date in our culture because it’s just a date to me.  One of many.  I hope to have many, many more …

So what date to celebrate??      

I’m not spending too much time thinking about it, to be quite honest!  I am instead filling my days with as many memories as I can in hopes of making (almost!) every day worth celebrating.

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Inhale and Exhale

I really do need to make more of a conscious effort to quiet my mind.  And I can’t just rely on my latest game:

My Favorite Game

My Favorite Game

 

I didn’t realize until I went to take the laundry down that I had a helper:

Multi-tasking Mantis

Multi-tasking Mantis

 

If she’s anything like me, she’s a multi-tasker … praying while doing the laundry.  Or maybe praying for the laundry to do itself … or perhaps for the laundry to end altogether …

Seriously though, I really look forward to my time in the sun with my bag of clothespins, utilizing the 300+ days of sunshine our spectacular state provides us.  Even as I write this, I can feel my mind quieting at the thought of my 1pm appointment with serenity.

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On My Mind

Go to www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com .  Since my pregnancy with Ellie, Trisomy 18 has remained a condition for which my heart aches.  And although my Ellie Kate was miraculously healthy, I sob each and every time I recall my brief experience with what it means to potentially carry a baby who is sick.  Audrey Caroline’s family recently experienced the loss of their newborn — Audrey had Trisomy 18. 

Please take a moment and say a prayer, think strengthening thoughts, send heart-felt love through the breezes ~ whatever it is that you do ~ for this family.  And then meditate on your own numerous blessings.  I’ve spent the month doing that myself and know that Audrey has truly left a legacy.  I am in awe of Audrey’s mother’s courage and honesty … and her words have made my mind and heart expand.  I am a better woman and mother having read her journey.

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Monster Trucks Follow-up

THREE MONSTER TRUCKS.

I kid you not.  It was unreal.  I think I’m living in the twilight zone.  Or another dimension.  Something. 

So, I missed my follow-up to “I Wonder … Wednesday” because my children came down with Hand, Foot, & Mouth disease.  Not a fun one for them, poor dears.  My son didn’t really eat much for a week — just chocolate milkshakes toward the end.  Oh, and rice.  The sores just hurt too much.  Miserable.  We are slowly coming out of our Scooby-Doo marathon and I am now making some conclusions.

Okay … so I have decided that I won’t make time for this in my life.  “This” being blogging.  It stresses me out.  I would much rather devote my attention and time to my children, which is the ENTIRE reason I am currently a stay-at-home mom.  I’ll check in with this, mind you.  And I’ll post things every now and again.  But I simply will not spend time on this at this point in my journey.  Sooo many other things to be doing.

This isn’t farewell … just stating it so I know where I stand with my place in the blogging world.  I don’t know how these superwomen do it.  I certainly cannot.

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Birthday Funk

I turned 29 last week.  Now, the actual adding a year to my life doesn’t bother me.  Check back next year on that account …

The funk sneaks up on me.  Has for three birthdays now.  I’m slow to learn, I guess.  I think that subconsciously I hope to see my dad pull up to wish me happy birthday … or to call to say how proud he is of me.  It isn’t like I actually believe those options are possible.  He’s dead, thank you very much.  I just don’t think my soul has accepted this truth in its entirety yet.

Two years ago, I had emptied my life of much of the outside joy I enjoyed absorbing : listening to music, reading, dancing, singing, writing …  Those essential elements have gradually made their way back into my being, but they seem to always get lost around my birthday.  I become a mocus mess and it is only by the love of my husband that I find my footing, turn on some music, and dance with my kids.  

My birthday should be my opportunity to spend the day thanking the two people who gave me life.  I guess when this day approaches, I sometimes wish I could share my thanks with two living, breathing individuals.  Thanking my mom seems half-done.  Mission half-accomplished.  Such a raw feeling. 

And then the fog starts to lift.  And I can compose this, send it out into the ether, and know that the haze will be even less dense tomorrow. 

 sun-and-smoke-at-mount-wilbur.jpg

  

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